Can I get personal with you?
Yesterday, I celebrated my first mother’s day.
I celebrated the opportunity I have to be a mom to my 6 month old son.
I also celebrated that my mom is still alive and well, despite complications from her autoimmune disease, Scleroderma.
But I know that Mother’s day is difficult on women who are suffering from miscarriage and infertility.
This used to be me.
I experienced chronic inflammation that resulted in severe endometriosis. It took two years before I got pregnant with Vance.
Two years of tears, blaming myself, hating my body, and comparing myself to others. Two years of expensive supplements, numerous doctor’s appointments, labs, tests, and ultimately, surgery.
I learned so much in those two years and I would like to share that with you today.
Here are three things every woman suffering from miscarriage and infertility NEED TO KNOW:
1) You know that heart-wrenching passion to get pregnant that seems to consume your life?
People will tell you that “this stress” is the reason you cannot get pregnant.
They will tell you to “stop trying” or go on a vacation, and then you will get pregnant.
I’m here to tell you that is not true at all.
At our first appointment with the reproductive specialist, our doctor told me that desperately wanting to conceive does not prevent you from conceiving. He told me that I had his permission to feel anyway I wanted to. I could choose to stress out and worry about our future or not. In that moment, I felt 50lbs lighter.
I now give you permission to feel any way you choose, without the guilt and blame that accompanies it.
Wanting to become parents is a beautiful, courageous feeling and it should always be CELEBRATED, not blamed!
2) The road to conceiving can be lonely, vulnerable, and oh so common.
I cannot stress enough the importance of reaching out to others and getting support.
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I believe sometimes it takes a village on the journey to getting that child.
But, everyone is different.
Some announce everything to the world, and others (like me) are very private in their life. If you don’t want to talk to someone you know, you have the internet where you can find kind, helpful strangers.
Heck, you can also email me! (email@example.com)
3) EVERY STEP you take gets you closer to becoming parents. This includes making that call to schedule your first specialist appointment, eating healthier, or getting an app to help you with tracking.
It’s CRUCIAL to celebrate the little victories along the way and to acknowledge that you are moving FORWARD.
If you are experiencing infertility or miscarriage, you are in a stage of life that is painful and difficult.
But it’s also temporary and is followed by something BEAUTIFUL…the feeling of holding your little baby you just gave birth to or adopted.
It makes every tear worth it.
You got this future mama.
Happy future Mother’s Day to you!